change.

Change. In some cases, it can be a great thing. But for me, its just another obsticle. I HATE it. It's so hard for me to deal with. It takes me forever to get used to one thing, and to have to give that up and have another thing come along just mixes up my brain. It takes away all my stability, and im left falling, not knowing what to do next.

I hate how things aren't the same anymore. It seems like the time apart erased all the good things we ever had. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I changed. So whats gonna happen now? Am i gonna be stuck standing here not knowing whats gonna happen between us? I mean it takes two to patch a friendship, and i dont wanna have to work on it alone. If you're not gonna be putting in the effort, then why try?

& then i realized that putting in the extra effort is worth it. We might not be at our strongest right now, but we'll get through it. We already planned so much for the future, why not stick with it. I remember promises we made, secrets that were told, and having all those dissappear would be a waste. Things will get better, just wait. But for now, hold my hand and we'll ride this rollercoaster called life.

BTW, happy birthday Jackie :]!

^Thats cute :]

<3;
Gizelle

roses

Yesterday, I somehow got to talking to Mervin about senior roses. If you dont know what that is, its during banquet at the end of the year. Each senior gets two roses, and can give them to whoever they want. Talk about EMOTIONAL. Ahh, yeah so, its pretty nice hearing about what everyone's been through together. Then i started thinking about who I'd give my roses to. I already have one thats forsure, and i already told her :]. I want to be a senior already, but then again i dont. I'm not ready to grow up and to take on the responsibilities. Being a senior means that I'm gonna have my lasts, like last Holiday Follies, Pop show, banquet, competition, and all that fun stuff. I'm not ready to let that go yet. Aw man, this year went by wayyy too fast. Dont get me wrong, im SUPER excited for next year, like beyond belief, but then again the sooner this year is over, the sooner it is to graduation and leaving.

This year wasn't all too great, actually, it was pretty horrible. But things happen for a reason right? The best you can do it drop it and move on. Next year's gonna be a change for me. I needa start changing my attitude and the way i look at stuff. I needa start choosing my friends more wisely, cus i was stupid before.

Aaaanyways, school's been really repetative. Same thing every day. I need some adventure! I have a spanish oral tomorrow. I'm gonna fail, like i probably did today.

Btw, I think its time to rekindle old flames that have gone out. At least for some people anyways.

Yeah so im bored now, and i cant think of anything else to type.


^Cus when you're a sixth grader, nothing really matters.

<3;
Gizelle

sunday

Nothing really happened this weekend. Today i woke up and got ready for church. After church, i went to my cousin's house and just hung out and stuff. It was fun i guess :]. Hmm, dont really have anything to talk about today, so if you want me to say anything, just tell me what i should write about.

Yeah so im done for now.

^ Yep, we're cool.

<3;

Gizelle

television

Today is a stay at home day, except for this morning. Parents woke me up at like 7:30 to get up to get a stupid dress. Ahh. Me plus lack of sleep equals cranky. I kinda feel bad about my behavior. Darn.

Anyways, I'm staying home to do homework today. So far, did nothing. Haha fail! Well, its not like im doing anything tomorrow either. Hmm, I'm bored, and i have nothing to talk about.

I watched a lot of movies today. Disney Channel was playing Hercules, Aladdin, and Mulan, and im always down for an old classic, so might as well. Then i watched Twilight for the billionth time. Then i watched Kids Choice Awards 2 and a half times. LOL. I just needed to see boyfriend ;D. haha so cuuuuuute! So i watched a lot of tv today. Thats rare, cus I dont really watch tv that much anymore.

Well today was a good day, I stayed happy the whole day, so nothing to complain about. Except for the fact that i have a spanish test on monday and i have no idea what im doing. Oh, and i have an english project to work on, but let's not think about that until tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, im going to the mall with my mom to get her dress and our shoes. Weddings are hectic!

Umm, yeah, so i have nothing else to talk about. Okay, byyeee! :]

^ i want those :]

<3;

Gizelle

short

I hate my brother. I know he buys me stuff, but it doesnt give him an excuse to act like an ass. I mean I'd so much rather have him buy me nothing and be nice than have him buy me stuff and be a total jerk. Ugh. He needs to move out already. Life would be so much more peaceful without him. asdfjkl;
ANYWAYS, the lists were posted today. Before she printed them, she called me into her office and asked me what my 2 choices were. & then she was like "you were one of the people who I was gonna let choose what choir they wanted." So that made me happy :]. So next year, im gonna be in Infusion and Charisma! Woohooo! So maybe i didnt do too bad at auditions then...? Hehe, im happy :]. Next year's gonna be super fuuuun!
So today was pretty good, except for the fact that my brother was here.

i dont have a picture to put today.

<3;
Gizelle

healing

Today was definitely better. Yesterday i cried, a lot. Sometimes you hold everything in, and it builds up, yaknow? That's what happened to me yesterday. But i think maybe things are starting to go back to the way things were. With an exception of a person, but i don't need them anymore. Am I annoyed with anyone? Yes, but who needs them anyways? Its not like they exist to me anymore.
Anyways, I'm stuck at home because my parents wont let me go out. I was supposed to go out with people, but my mom is being mean and wont let me. -_- GAH. Its not like I'm going out anywhere this weekend, I'm gonna be stuck home doing homework and stupid project crap.
There is seriously something wrong with me. Its not normal to be this... emotional? idk. whatever. Let's just hope everything gets better so you don't have to deal with my bipolarness anymore.
Yeah so Mervin told me he might have pneumonia. Ahhh. How scary D: But its alright, he's gonna be okay, I know it :].
I've been thinking about colleges lately, and I have no idea what im gonna do. I have like nothing planned. It's kinda scary considering how fast this year went by. I cant believe im going to be graduating in 2 years D:. I needa get my crap straight.

"As we grow up, we learn that the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break some too. You'll fight with your best friend, or maybe even fall in love with them and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. You just have to live life to the fullest. Tell someone what they mean to you. Speak out, dance in the pouring rain, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, and stay up late watching the stars, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Dont be afraid to take chances or fall in love. And most of all, live in the moment because every sixty seconds you spend angry or upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."



I miss the beach.

<3;
Gizelle

FAILURE.

I did so bad today. You have no idea how beat up I am for not doing better. Freaking ayyyy. I guess Enchantment will be fun too? RAWRRawrrawr. bleh. I remember when choir used to be so easy to be in. Now i fail at everything. I fail at life. I'm just gonna hope for the best, and if it doesnt happen, ill just get over it and move on. *sigh, I guess you can't have everything? At least i still get to be head tech.

So anyways, i didnt go to first period today. I slept in cus i was really tired. But there wasn't that much work to be done i think. Whatever. School is so boring. Its nothing exciting anymore, especially when nothing goes on with you, and all the fun things happen to the people around you. Idk. I want to move. I just want a new start. I know all i have to do is wait two more years, then college, but like, it's high school. Arent you supposed to enjoy it? ughh.

Today wasnt a good day. Compared to yesterday, today was in a dumpster.


^Back in 7th grade.

<3;
Gizelle

tryout day.

Today was totally fuuuun! Now I remember why I like choir so much, it just makes me forget about everything else thats going on. I was nervous, but i wasn't as nervous as i usually am. I think I'm starting to get used to this kinda stuff :]. Oh yeah, & I totally proved that one girl wrong, SUCCESS! Me and joy seriously need to go punch people's faces soon ;D.

Anyways, after tryouts i went with Kristin and Aaron to Starbucks then Mcdonalds. I've been craving Starbucks for like 3 months! hahah heck yeah! lol

I really dont get tomorrow. How do call backs work? haha I feel so stupid :]

& I love how Mervin yelled "GO FAVORITE ADING!" LOL

All in all, today was a good day.

^FAVORITE!

Gizelle

nervousness

Today I felt a lot better, until i saw someone. It's so hard to see you around, and even say anything. Bleh. Whatever.

Choir tryouts tomorrow. Freaking crap, I'm so scared. Just gotta stay positive right? Wish me luck.

OMG. I'm gonna be a JUNIOR next year. Dang, looking at old pictures brings back so many memories. Ahh. So so so sad. I dont really feel like typing tonight, so i think im done.



FRESHMAN YEAR.



SOPHOMORE YEAR.

<3;
Gizelle

mental vacation

This weekend was... refreshing. It might not have been in the top 10, but it made me forget about a lot of things. It was nice to have a good day for once, cus haven't had one in a while. I guess family is really there for you when you need it. I totally and completely forgot about everything I've been so bummed about lately.
So let's see, Friday was pretty lame. Completely hated it. People are so stupid. I seriously have nothing to prove anymore. I stayed up until 11ish waiting for my cousins. They got here and we watched twilight until like 1am and then we all fell asleep. On Saturday, went to go dress shopping for my cousins wedding. It's not like the usual ones where we all have the same dresses, we each have to get one for ourselves, which is pretty cool cus i get to choose what i want. After that, we all went to my other cousins house to just hang out for a while and then went to the mall. Ate In-N-Out afterwards, then got yogurt. Went home and finished Twilight at my house. All the guys fell asleep around 1ish. Me and my favorite cousin stayed up until 4:30 watching youtube videos and webcaming and stuff. Funny stufff. Then today, we went to church, then ate at Pinoy Pinay (freaking filipino, right?). haha. Then we went to my cousin's house again and my and my fav cousin took a billion pictures. So fuun. So yeah, my weekend sounds boring when i try to explain it, but it was actually pretty great. :]
Anyways, choir auditions in 2 days. I think i'm going to do it. I'm nervous though. Eeep.
Did I ever mention how annoying people are? Yeah, i think so. Freaking crap maaaaan. UGH, makes me just wanna take their face and shove it into a wall. hehe, im so nice, i know. Yeah so if you want me in your life, you'll find a way to put me in there. I'm done trying. If it ends like this, then so be it. No matter how hard everything is, I do believe that things happen for a reason, and all of this is just a lesson to be learned. "Now I sit all alone wishing all my feelings were gone" <--- i hate feeling like that, btw. Ugh. whatever, I'm done for today.

<3;
Gizelle

headed downward

Things have just been heading straight down... FAST. Like Melody said, the sooner you hit rock bottom, the sooner you can start building things up. UGH. Don't make me question our relationship. If we're good friends, treat me like it, cus lately a lot of people have been turning their back on me. Idk. I just need someone to make me laugh, that's all i really need right now. I need someone who'll make a promise to me, and keep it. I need someone who'll spend time with me just cus. I need someone who'll talk to me, and wont care if I dont answer. I need someone who won't talk about the same thing over and over. I need someone who doesn't have or cause a lot of problems. All i really need is someone to be a good friend for once.

I'm sick and tired of people always treating me like crap. I'm not a doll, you can't play with me for one second, and throw me on the ground the next. Bleh. Whatever. I'm done.


^ They're staying at my house this weekend. Favorite cousins <3

<3;
Gizelle

FML.

UGH. Why dont people have common sense anymore? Forget friends, they always screw you over. But it really hits me hard when they're supposed to be really close. I've lost so much repect and trust for so many people already. Whatever man. Everything sucks. I give up on everything. I always try so hard to make everything work right, but why put the effort in anymore? Screw you. My life sucks.

& I'm really sorry for being stupid. But you probably don't care about me anymore.


^But i have a pretty cool kuya.

<3;
Gizelle

first.

hey xstatik (6:47:06 PM): you should make a blog too
^ that should explain the reason why i'm here

Well, first blog on here. Don't really know what to talk about. So let's see, today was the last day of the CAHSEE. Pretty easy stuff, but i dont wanna be too overconfident. The weather suddenly changed from cool to warm really fast. I hate the heat. 9 more months until winter, too bad i have to suffer through summer first. Oh yipeee.

Anywaysss, is it just me, or does it seem like everyone's been either really annoying, or really mean lately? Maybe its just me. Whatever. Choir auditions next week. scared. Scared. SCARED. Speaking of choir, we watched Twilight today in Enchantment :]. My favoriiiiite! Sup cuuties ;]. I found it funny how Mrs. Hunter took her whole class to the choir room cus she wanted to watch it. hahah awesome teacher! And if you talk crap about Twilight, then screw you :P. hehe.

I really needa start trying harder in school. I've only been doing enough to get by, and that's not very satisfying. boohoo! only 3 more months left of school! aww, bye bye seniors, and among those is my daddy! Gotta make the best of the time left right? Rawr, i can't believe im gonna be a junior next year! I remember when i was scared to go to 7th grade! FUHREAKK, time is speeding by too fast, with no stopping along the way. I'm scared to grow up. eeep, how depressing!

well i guess im done for noww.

ps. Taylor Lautner is the cutest most adorable thing on this planet! hehe



<3;
Gizelle