nightmare

I had the most horrific dream last night. I woke up crying. Who knew that one little person could mean so much to me. It sucks. I can't stop thinking about it. What if this never happened? Would i take our friendship for granted? Cus right now, I'm wishing that it was still here. But sometimes i think that I'm just wasted my time talking to you. I felt like i was just a rebound friend, that you go to me when you had no one else. & then there were times when you'd do stuff to make me feel like I am special [as corny as that sounds]. So i dont know. Pick one, you're messing with my head. Maybe one day, things will go back to normal like how they used to be. & everything we talked about will actually happen. But for now, i gotta just forget about everything, cus the way things look right now, we dont have a future. [btw, if you think i'm talking about one person throughout my blogs, im not.]

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I think I'm at the edge of a cliff and the only way off is to jump. I swear I can smell the sweet ocean, feel the burst of air tussling my hair, feel the grass and dirt blowing beneath my bare feet, hear the waves crashing on the rocks below and I hope that when I jump, I'll hit them straight on and everything will end without an ounce of pain. And I know that on the way down, I'll still feel that breeze, still smell the sweet ocean, and I'll be perfectly content and exactly where I always imagined I'd be. And for three seconds of my life, nothing will matter except the fact i actually decided to jump.



<3;
Gizelle